


Reasons to not follow strangers home

by Green_Sphynx



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A lot of it sorry Lance, Alien Threesome, Alien hormone rollercoasters, BAMF Lance (Voltron), Bottom Lance (Voltron), But we're talking perfectly human typical male no uterus biology here, Cis Male Lance (Voltron), Don't go home with strangers for sex, Drugged Sex, Especially not if they're aliens, Hurt Lance (Voltron), I wash my hands of this, Lance (Voltron) Whump, Lance getting the love and support he deserves, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not really because no eggs but the process is extremely similar, Other, Oviposition, Portable Alien Womb, Pregnant Sex, Top Shiro (Voltron), Unconventional Mpreg, Vomiting, You may wonder what is even 'conventional' in MPreg, everyone on the team is a good friend, idiots to lovers, no real spoilers past season 2, non-consensual impregnation, so to reiterate, yep you read that right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-12 13:37:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19230208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green_Sphynx/pseuds/Green_Sphynx
Summary: Lance knew very well you shouldn't actually follow strangers home just because they smiled nicely when inviting you for sex. You could end in all sorts of trouble, like getting robbed blind, murdered or used in some creepy fetish cult ritual, stuff like that. Lance had just never had considered that he, with his entirely uterus-free biology, would ever have to worry about ending up pregnant against his will.Turns out that when the strangers you follow home are aliens, it should absolutely be a valid concern.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I commit to writing a certain fic: The muse throws a temper tantrum so big that I finish an actual longfic for the first time in years. A longfic that couldn't have been more different from the fic I had committed to, no less.
> 
> I tried to tag everything, but if you see something I missed that you think is important please tell me. Just don't come crying that you weren't expecting the absolute worst from the tags already there.  
> This fic is a very big mess of whump and pain and slightly handwavey science, and Lance is not going to be in his right mind for at least half of it. There will be some very graphic scenes of the whump but hey, at least it's not violent? Yeah. Have fun and don't say you weren't warned.

"Does your species have sex for pleasure?"

Not exactly the response Lance had been expecting to his flirting, but not really one he could fault either. He _had_ been flirting after all. Heavily and over the top.

He couldn't really do anything about the pink flush rising to his cheeks, or the sudden stutter as he tried to respond suavely. _Tried_. "Y-yeah, we do! There's no better thing than sex!"

He could not help the way his eyes flickered over to his far left either, quickly making sure Shiro was not hearing this. Luckily for him, Shiro seemed entirely engrossed in the diplomatic talks with the alien species' leaders - the _Lochtwan Markwan_ , or however you were supposed to pronounce that - together with Allura. Keith was standing next to them and giving Lance a rather incredulous look, but that was fine.

As long as Shiro didn't hear this. Making him jealous by flirting with every pretty alien girl was one thing, but letting him overhear _this_? That was too much.

Especially when said pretty alien clapped long, spindly hands together excitedly - _eight fingers on each hand, it was amazing_ \- fluttering two sets of eyelids over gem-like eyes as she chirped happily. "Do you want to come have sex with me and my mate? We have never experienced a human before!"

_'Experienced'_ .

That was a way of putting it. Lance had never experienced a Lochtwan either, nor any other alien species, but he wasn't exactly adding notches to his bedpost when he was so busy pining for Shiro.

On the other hand, maybe this was exactly what he needed. Maybe he just needed to go with a pretty alien girl and have kinky alien sex with her and her mate, and _maybe_ it would alleviate this ache in his chest for Shiro a little. For all he knew his infatuation was mostly sexual frustration, after all.

_(It really wasn't.)_

"O-okay." He offered a big smile and a fat wink, trying - and failing - to not glance back at a fully distracted Shiro and earn himself the stink-eye from Keith.

The cheer from the Lochtwan sounded a little like she was going to puke, but she looked very excited and grabbed Lance's hand in one of hers to drag him away. It was only a couple of alleys - the streets were claustrophobic narrow spaces between buildings here - before she was already pulling him into one of the houses, leading him down a ramp to a sort of basement that seemed like a living room. Or a bedroom. Probably both.

He mate was a giant Lochtwan, much bigger than any other Lance had seen so far, his body practically triangular with how ripped he looked. Or Lance assumed he was ripped, because his spindly arms and legs were a little thicker than the twigs of the girl that had led Lance here.

She released his hand to run three fingers up over Lance's arm, a chittering giggle coming from rather deep in her chest. "Take it off!"

Take it off. He could do that.

He wished he had taken those extra classes on theoretical extra-terrestrial biology now.

Lance could not tear his eyes away from both Lochtwan peeling themselves out of their intricate clothing while he was doing the same with his paladin armour. Their skin looked dry, almost like badly cared for leather, and in a purplish brown hue that could not be described as attractive. Attractive to Lance, anyway. Their shapes however… they were so pretty, curved in the right places, smooth and bendy… the way they were moving without clothes reminded Lance almost of octopuses, if not for the two arms and two legs and fairly humanoid build.

Lance was also surprised to note they both seemed to have penises - or at least _external_ organs. The male's seemed fairly similar to a human's, though lacking any balls, but mounted between his legs with no break in skin in between. It was not any thicker than an average human's dick, but definitely longer, and it seemed to flare at the tip.

The female was different, in that it almost looked like she was unfolding a vagina. There were folds between her legs, and from between emerged a thin shaft that seemed to sink out further and further with arousal, already to a length rivalling the male's penis and any big dick porns Lance had ever watched. It was no thicker than the male's penis though, and by the looks of it, it was hollow. Like a narrow sleeve.

Like… Lance was honestly wondering if that thing was going to be fucking him or if he was going to fuck it.

_He would no doubt find out soon enough._

There were no more words when the male took both of Lance's hands, pulling him along and laying down on a high bed. He tugged Lance's hands and the female gave him encouraging nudges until he crawled on top of the male, feeling mightily flustered about the whole thing. It was a reassurance when he was drawn into a kiss, the Lochtwan's lips feeling almost like jelly against his own, and just as sweet. Saliva seemed to be excreted from outside the lips for these aliens, so the kiss was instantly messy, but it was strangely relaxing.

Maybe the idea that this was slightly awkward for them too was what soothed him.

But he could feel the tension leave his body, even more so when the female crawled over his back and started to nuzzle the nape of his neck. A sweet, cloying smell penetrated his nose shortly after, but his neck felt warm and her nuzzling had the same effect as a massage on sore muscles, so he was not complaining.

He was not complaining at _all_.

He had never felt so relaxed in his life - he could hardly imagine he'd been nervous mere minutes ago. Not with the sweet taste on his lips, cool liquid pressing into his mouth until he was lapping hungrily at the spring of the male's lips, feeling heady and aroused.

There was no resistance whatsoever when the female penetrated his arse with her long organ, despite the complete lack of preparation.

He was relaxed and easy, his muscles not putting up any protest against the intrusion, and her folds were dripping plenty of lubrication over her entire length to make it all slide easy.

So very easy.

Deep, deeper…. s _o fucking deep_.

Lance squirmed for a moment, because this was way deeper than he was expecting. He could feel it press up his large intestine and following the curve of it, exploring deeper and deeper than Lance thought possible. He let out a small noise of protest, but he was hushed gently by her throaty sounds in his ear, and offered more of the soothing cool liquid of the male's saliva by a flexible long tongue pushing it between his lips.

Soon enough he relaxed again, even as he felt her length find the next curve on his other side, travelling downward again to the start of his large intestine.

It was weird, but he was too relaxed and dazed to feel more than minor discomfort. Even when the tip of the female's organ poked around at the end, working over the exit of the small intestine and the little pinprick of his appendix, he could only sigh, melting into the male's chest.

And then it suddenly became serious.

Lance gasped in surprise when something thicker pressed against his anus, and he let out a keen when he realised it was actually the female's organ itself thickening.

No, it was something travelling _through_ it.

He moved his hips to pull away, making small noises of protest once again, but he found himself too hazy to form words, too floaty to make any other sounds than whined and whimpers. He was once again soothed by both the aliens with nuzzles at his neck and kisses to his lips, until he felt dizzy with the overwhelming _comfort_ of those. It easily overpowered any possible discomfort down below.

He registered the thick clump that was passing through the female's organ working its way into his arse, the female making small thrusting movements to ease it along. Her movements more than anything else had him moan, an instinctual call of pleasure where there was little physical stimulation given. But it helped, and it made his lovers all the more eager and happy to make him comfortable, and eventually the thick clump was through.

He squirmed at the weirdness of feeling it being worked all the way up through his colon, even if he was too numb for it to hurt. He gasped at a small sting of pain, like getting a shot, when the clump reached the start of his large intestine and presumably left the female's organ.

He whined and squirmed a little harder, but like each time before it was easily forgotten under the loving attentions of both aliens. And it stung only a little, anyway. It wasn't all that bad, not with the cooing and chirping in his ears and that lovely sweet scent all around him.

The female's organ retracted as slowly as it had entered, and it was just as weird but more ticklish, making him giggle giddily as it pulled out of him inch by inch. He was smiling dopily down at the male by the time the female completely pulled out, pleased and happy even if there had been absolutely nothing orgasmic about the experience.

And then the male's penis entered him.

Lance arched, the flared head dragging over his prostate, and then the male started fucking him without abandon. Lance had no idea what had happened, how they went from _that_ to _this_ , but he gurgled out a pleasured moan, clung to the male's large, strong shoulders, and then promptly passed out between them.

 

Lance woke feeling… high.

Yeah, this was how feeling high must feel like. Feel. Like feel.

High.

He giggled, and then pressure around him tightened. He blinked his eyes open only to see Shiro's face from below - like, _below_ below. Like, Shiro was carrying him in his arms, below.

And Shiro was tightening his hold protectively, and the look on his face was downright murderous.

Somewhere a voice was apologising profusely, but it wasn't a voice Lance knew. It was one of those throaty voices from the Lack… long… the alien species of this planet.

Lance was fairly sure he was supposed to be apologising for running off to have sex and get high, but not being blamed for once was pretty cool too.

He giggled again, happy to not be blamed.

Even happier to be held by Shiro.

He nuzzled his face into Shiro's chest, cringing slightly at a distinct discomfort in his belly, and then passed out again with a deep and content sigh.

 

Next time he woke, he was sadly no longer high. Instead, he was suffering the biggest hangover he had ever had the misfortune of experiencing.

His brain was thumping out a slow waltz with a whole lot more aggression than a waltz had any right to possess and he was feeling nauseous and incredibly bloated at the same time. His body was slow to respond to him, every thought about moving needing two seconds to process before a muscle gave a sluggish response, and said response was clumsy and slow like swimming through molasses.

Yeah, Lance was not going to take up any more aliens on their offer of sex, no matter how pretty they were.

Lance vaguely noted that he wasn't in a healing pod - he probably didn't deserve one after pulling that stunt anyway - but he was not left alone, his wrist caught just in time before he could accidentally smack himself in the face with a lax hand.

It took him a moment to figure out he had intended to rub his sticky eyelids open with that hand, and another few moments to realise his arm was carefully put back down next to him by a metal, Galra technology prosthetic that Lance had spent way too many hours of his life fantasising about.

The realisation was shortly followed by delight and excitement, sending butterflies all through his stomach and then _back out_ , making him promptly lean over the side of the bed and vomit all over Shiro's feet.

That too, needed a long few seconds to catch up with Lance's brain, which was sadly just long enough to make him really, _really_ embarrassed about what he just did.

"Take it easy, Lance," Shiro chastised so gently it made Lance want to cry with guilt.

Here he was, a hungover mess from sneaking away to have kinky alien sex in the hopes to get over his crush on Shiro, and Shiro was treating him better than he ever deserved.

While he let himself be carefully put back in position on his bed, flat on his back where his bloated belly was aching the least and only the ceiling was in sight to twist and turn like a particularly hyperactive teacup ride in a fair, Shiro hailed Coran to come over and check on Lance now he was awake, with instructions to bring something to clean the floor.

Hunk ended up barging in first, making Lance cringe with the noise of his entry, but Hunk had the cleaning supplies with him and Lance deeply appreciated the foul and sour stench from the puke being removed, lowering the chances of him needing to vomit again.

"How are you feeling, buddy?"

Fuck, Lance really didn't deserve someone as good as Hunk in his life, enquiring with such concern in his voice while mopping up his puke.

"Like shit," he managed to croak, because he owed Hunk a response in the very least, even if his aching throat made him regret trying. He made a face when he realised how foul the taste in his mouth was, but the next moment his head was gently lifted with a careful hand, and a cup of water pressed to his lips.

Fuck, Lance really didn't deserve Shiro either.

"Ah, you're awake!" Coran came in looking all pleased, as if Shiro hadn't just called him over because Lance woke up. "How are feeling, my boy?"

"Like shit," Hunk helpfully echoed the response Lance had already giving, saving him from aggravating his throat again. Coran merely hummed thoughtfully, holding the medical scanner he brought over Lance's stomach first, moving it up to his head after it had flickered a few small red alarms that didn't seem to worry the Altean as much as they did Lance.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Lance let the question sink in, needing a moment to try figure out the answer. When he opened his mouth he first ended up coughing, and he was quickly given more water by Shiro.

After a few sips he could finally work his voice again, even if he still sounded like he just smoked a whole package of cigarettes in one go with zero smoking experience. "I-I did the thing all parents warn their kids not to," he confessed - might as well show he knew he had been dumb straight away - "and went home with a stranger. She, uh…" He glanced over to Shiro, feeling the heat in his face and his dizziness increasing in his embarrassment. "She asked if humans have sex for pleasure and invited me fro some when I said yes. Wasn't sure how to politely say no and figured why not? I uhm… I know 'why not' now."

"So you agreed to sex, nothing else?" Shiro sounded tense in a way Lance couldn't figure out in his current state, and he made the mistake of nodding, immediately groaning at the pain that caused in his head.

Shiro stood up to start pacing angrily, and Hunk immediately took his spot beside Lance on the bed, running fingers through Lance's hair soothingly. It helped with the headache, like it always did, and Lance let out a relieved sigh at the gentle pressure against his scalp. At least, until Shiro let a growl slip, full of barely restrained anger, and Lance felt the need to curl in on himself to escape the wrath he had no doubt called upon himself. His stomach hurt something terrible with the effort.

"Shiro, calm down." Coran didn't sound very convincing, but Lance appreciated the effort. "They are already being punished by their own laws and there is nothing more we can do without losing that alliance. Besides, they have given us all the information on how to let this progress naturally so we can keep Lance from further harm-"

" _Harm_?" Shiro suddenly stopped his pacing, and he sounded so angry it was almost feral. Lance had never heard Shiro this angry before. If Hunk wasn't physically blocking the sight of Shiro for Lance right now… no, he still tried to roll over and hide his face into Hunk's hip, taking marginal comfort in the way his friend was still massaging his scalp. The movement made his stomach hurt so bad it was like he was being stabbed, but he didn't dare to make more sound than a muffled whimper at the intense pain, honestly scared for what the black paladin might do - even if in the back of his mind, he knew this fear was ridiculous, and Shiro would never hurt him no matter how angry he was with Lance. It was strange, but he felt way more emotional than was logical, but he could just blame the general misery on this weird, alien hangover.

But Shiro wasn't done. He was hissing and spitting like an angry Keith, and Lance was almost certain he actually did pick that behaviour up from Keith at some point.

"They have already done _far more_ harm to Lance than I'm even remotely alright with, Coran! Even aside from how long he's going to be out of commission for Voltron, I'm not prepared to stand by and watch him go through - through _this_. There _must_ be a way to safely remove it and reduce how long he'll have to -to-" Shiro broke himself off, audibly gnashing his teeth, and Lance couldn't help but tremble in fear.

Fear.

For Shiro.

_Something was seriously wrong with him_ .

"Uhm, Shiro?" Hunk's hand tightened on Lance's head when he spoke, pressing him closer against his hip as if to protect him. "Nor saying that I'm not as angry as you are - I mean, I would love to go back and tear those two a new one and then some - but you should really not be doing this in front of Lance right now. He's still very much out of it and you're scaring him."

A beat of silence, and then Shiro was suddenly leaning over Lance, shocking him into recoiling and now openly groaning in pain as the jolt made the stabbing pain in his stomach reappear. But Shiro looked apologetic, even more so after Lance's flinch, so he didn't shy away from the careful touch of Shiro's hand to his face.

"I'm so sorry, Lance. I'm not angry with you, I promise."

Lance blinked slowly.

That made… even less sense. Weren't they angry he went with a strange alien to go have sex? Without even telling anyone he was leaving, no less.

The confusion must've been clear on his face, because Shiro looked very uncomfortable when pulling away again, glancing over at Coran for help.

"It's not your fault, my boy." Coran told him gently, and it only confused Lance more until Coran continued. "Those two Lochtwan violated several laws of their own culture by misleading you the way they did. You consented to sex, but they turned you into the host of their baby instead. The chemicals in their bodily fluids become mind-altering substances when they are aroused, probably leaving you too drugged and numb to realise what was going on and protest."

Lance worked his mouth around the word 'host', taking a very long time to process that information in his hazy, aching mind. Host. Host to their baby.

_Host to their baby._

"W-wha-?"

"There's a Lochtwan womb dug in into your colon, which will remain there until the baby is ready to be born."

Wow. That was not reassuring at all.

"Can it… can you remove it?"

"Not without killing you, I'm afraid." Coran let his fingers tap on his tablet before holding it over Lance's face to let him see the image of his own organs. Right at the start of his colon, wedged up against his appendix, was a big dark blob containing a tiny little foetus. The reason it could not be removed seemed fairly obvious, as well as explaining the intense stabbing sensation Lance felt whenever he moved.

The dark blob was dug into the soft organs with long hooked appendages, like little harpoons wedged deep into his flesh.

There was also a small stripe of something else though, and Lance lifted a shaking hand to point at it with a questioning noise.

"Oh, that's a small tunnel made from - something similar to the cartilage humans have. It's there to make sure the womb won't block off your digestive system as it grows. It's key for these pregnancies that the host does not die - as it's usually a consensual thing the Lochtwan do for each other."

"They-they _like_ their intestines getting shredded by each other's babies?" Lance croaked out disbelievingly.

"No, the womb is secreting substances that make sure you do not bleed out - although you'll probably find a little blood the next few times in your feces. As long as the womb is left there it will ensure your intestines remain intact. If you carry the baby to term naturally, the womb will come free without doing more damage and leaving behind enough of its secretions to make you heal up with little bleeding." Coran gave him a troubled look, eyes flashing to Shiro worriedly for a moment. "If we try to remove it however, you will most certainly bleed to death in a scant few ticks."

'Quiznak' didn't cover this.

"I'm _pregnant_?" His voice cracked, and Hunk was immediately patting his hair, shushing him to calm down. Okay, so that reaction was really belated in the explanation, but fuck that.

Fuck that, and fuck everything else too.

"Pidge is searching all the data we've received from those aliens to see if there's a way to safely remove it," Hunk promised Lance.

"And you're not in this alone," Shiro stood over him again, grasping Lance's hand to give it a squeeze. "The whole team will be standing right beside you to help you through this."

"Y-you're not mad?" Lance's voice had dropped, small and scared, and he almost didn't dare to look Shiro in the eyes. But Shiro looked honestly distraught at the question, and that made it easier to accept the answer.

"I'm not mad at you, Lance. I'm mad at those bastards for raping you. You're the victim here and I could never be angry with you."

It was a weight lifted off his chest, leaving only the heavy ache in his stomach and the slowly decreasing pulsing of his head, but he melted back into his bed with a small sigh of relief now he was certain.

Even while knowing he was pregnant from an alien ripping into his innards.

That was easier to accept than Shiro being angry with him, for some weird reason.

"You should sleep some more," Hunk told him, tone tender and soft enough to make Lance give a minute nod that didn't hurt too much. He drifted off to Hunk's fingers carding through his hair and… and still clinging to Shiro's hand. If he didn't let go of that, well, it was Shiro who picked up his hand in the first place.


	2. Chapter 2

Adapting to being pregnant with a parasitic alien womb in your large intestine was not as easy as Lance had hoped - not that he had honestly expected it to be easy, but a guy could dream, right?

The pain of moving was excruciating and kept him bedridden for almost a week. Only after that he had adapted enough to be able to move, albeit it slowly, without immediately curling into a tiny ball of pain. He had kept still almost religiously, because curling up just put more pressure on his slightly distended belly and it was all a downward spiral of pain from there on.

After that first week of agony slow moving was doable, but it still cost him two more quintants to be able to handle an upright position well enough to dare try stand.

Supported by Shiro and Hunk on each side, he actually made it all the way to the dining room before collapsing in a chair in complete exhaustion, but he had been persistent and he won.

_Take that_ , parasitic alien womb.

The problem was that the physical pain wasn't the only thing. The alien womb let out all these hormones that Lance's body couldn't seem to make heads or tails of, and they turned him into a complete mess, including, but not limited to, a morning sickness that started _before_ sleep and meant he usually needed to puke before being able to doze off, thumping headaches at odd times, fingers and toes swelling with held fluids (why even his extremities, _why_?), and sometimes the jackpot of an incredible back cramp that was apparently his body trying to simulate contractions with just his lower back muscles.

But the worst of all, and Lance was still on the fence about whether it was maybe the very worst effect, above even the physical pains, was the mood swings the alien hormones caused. He thought human hormones made it bad for pregnant people, but these alien hormones had no chill.

He literally went from laughing to crying and back to laughing in a matter of seconds at some point.

His first time reaching the dining area was directly followed with him bawling like a baby because he had missed dinner time and nobody was there eating with him, causing Shiro to quickly drum up the rest of the team for an impromptu meal. Seeing Keith however fully switched Lance's sadness to anger and after he threw all food, bowls and other eating utensils at the mullet's face while screeching like a mad monkey, he went straight back to sobbing apologies for attacking Keith like that.

To say Keith was weirded out would be the understatement of the century.

Luckily for everyone on the ship, the hormonal moods seemed to lessen in intensity the more Lance was able to move around, and even if he kept bursting into tears over random things like a smudge on his bedroom door or Hunk arriving a tick later than usual ( _"I thought you forgo-o-ot about mee-e-e-eee!"_ ) and burst out laughing at even _more_ random things (the sight of his food, Shiro dozing off in a chair next to his bed, five ticks of silence in the room) it was no longer as extreme as before.

Thing was, 'no longer as extreme as before' was not going to cut it, because the Galra weren't exactly giving Voltron maternity leave.

Lance camped in his bed for two missions and an attack on the Castle, trying not to worry himself sick - sicker than he already was, anyway - before he was able enough to drag himself to the bridge when the next attack came. Coran and Allura gave him an alarmed look when he entered right as their shield was hit with a heavy blast from an ion cannon, making the whole ship wobble under their feet and causing Lance to stumble three steps to the side until he slammed into a wall.

"Lance! What are you doing here, you're supposed to stay in your bed. We only have your bedroom stabilised!"

Lance grunted in pain from his impact with the wall, a sort of grumbling going through his lower belly that he would've associated with being gassy before this whole mess started, but managed to use the wall to push himself back onto his feet properly. "I'll… I'll be fine. I can't do shit from my bed, but here I can help from my station. If that means less stabilisers, so be it." He held up the puke baggy he'd brought along for the Alteans to see, and then proceeded to ignore how both of them looked incredibly torn up about whether to leave their post and come help him to his seat or keep shooting and help the lions.

Lance didn't need their help. He just needed… to puke a little first.

Once he was done moving his breakfast into the bag he started towards his station on unsteady legs, keeping a hand against the wall until he was as close as he could get without letting go. He took a deep breath and eased a hand under the swell of his belly to hold it as steady as he could, and then took the few stumbling steps to his station as fast as possible.

So what if he ended crashing into the station and down onto his knees? He made it, and the pain to his belly was kept at a minimum. Even if the concern on Coran's face was reaching staggering levels.

He took a moment to collect himself before heaving himself into his seat, then another deep breath and finally he could fire up the station's functions. He had his small fighter drone launched in a few swipes, softly grumbling under his breath about how much slower it was than Blue, taking several doboshes to even get to the fight. And he wouldn't have much time with it either, because the little drones were not very resistant of… well, anything that the Galra were shooting.

And yet, because it was such a tiny drone, it was going entirely unnoticed even in the middle of the fight. So all Lance really needed to do was to swirl it around, carefully take aim, and then shoot straight through the weakest parts of the Galra fighters that were always tricky to get while in a moving lion with a dozen fighters on your tail.

With his tongue between his lips Lance took out almost ten Galra fighters before his drone was detected and shot to little pieces of space rubble.

"Quiznak!"

"Send out another one, number three," Coran urged him without looking away from his own controls. "Taking out the snipers is exactly what the paladins need right now!"

"I'm a paladin too, you know," Lance grumbled moodily, feeling a bit childish for needing to point it out, but he did as Coran told. It was excruciating to have to wait two and a half doboshes for the drone to get out far enough, but once he did he could continue his assault, starting out by shooting three Galra fighters off Pidge's tail before letting his drone take cover in the debris of destroyed fighters. A bit far from the fighters that were sniping, but Lance wasn't called the sharp shooter for nothing.

Five of the sniping ships were destroyed by well-placed shots before the ion cannon hit the Castle again, the whole ship lurching at the force. Lance flailed in surprise, trying to get his hands on his belly to protect it from being jolted into the worst of the pain, failing as he was all but launched from his seat.

He crashed to the floor, only catching half of his weight on an elbow, and the pain of his belly hitting the floor was so intense he momentarily blacked out, everything quiet and numb for a split second before it all became a cacophony of pain. There was no control as he retched, bringing up only bile with a slightly green tinge from the food goo, just looking even more disgusting than regular bile. The sight of it made him retch again, his ears ringing and sight flashing as he tried to work himself through the pain.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck-_

He vaguely registered the sharp electronic beep of his drone being destroyed, which only served to make him more frustrated. But then there was Coran cheering, and next thing he felt warm hands on his shoulders, gently helping him sit upright with his back against his station. Among the colourful flashes blotching up his sight he was fairly certain he registered Allura's concerned face, but he curled up with his hands around his belly rather than making sure.

Lance wasn't sure how long he sat like that, consumed by the agony, but eventually he started to hear Coran and Allura gently calling his name, the pain slowly becoming less. Still, only when he heard hurried footsteps towards them he dared open his eyes and brave the flashing of his sight again.

His vision wasn't as messed up anymore, and he could clearly see Shiro's distraught face as his leader knelt in front of him to quickly check him over for any wounds.

"The boy merely toppled off his chair with the last hit we took," Coran explained calmly. "He will be a bit bruised but there is no further internal damage."

"What was he doing here in the first place?" Shiro's voice was harsh and angry, and even with all that concern Lance had just seen on his face, it was impossible not to flinch away from it.

"He took a fighter drone out to the fight, actually." This time it was Allura standing up for him, surprisingly. Lance wasn't sure how he had deserved for both Alteans to take his side when he was being reckless like this. "He destroyed quite a few of the sniping Galra ships that were holding the lions back."

"It's not worth it if he gets hurt - in _this_ state-"

Lance interrupted Shiro with a sharp laugh, suddenly angry. "In _this_ state I hate being useless even more than usually. I only fell from a chair, Shiro, it's nothing compared to how those assholes out there could've hurt one of you in that fight." _How they could've hurt Shiro._

"You were out of it from the pain the whole time it took us to return to the Castle," Shiro argued heatedly - surprisingly heatedly, actually. Lance had seen Shiro really angry when he first woke up with this alien womb, but he had been his level-headed self ever since while all but fawning over Lance. This was more angry than Lance had expected seeing him.

Not that that would stop him. "I'm 'out of it' from pain when I accidentally roll over in my sleep as well. Or when I move too fast and jostle this stupid, alien pregnant belly, or when I stumble into a wall when I walk while you're not babying me! I'm not going to let a little pain stop me from _living_ , and I'm definitely not going to let it stop me from protecting you and my friends when I know I can help!"

Shiro looked… like Lance had just slapped him in the face. Lance wasn't sure what part of what he'd said caused that, but guilt curled in his stomach together with the nausea, making him reach blindly for the puke baggies he had on his belt.

Strangely enough it wasn't Shiro quickly helping him to pull one free and open it for him, but Allura instead, Shiro's hands wavering between them as if undecided whether to help or not. Lance didn't have the time to analyse it, not while he once again emptied the little bile that was back in his stomach into the plastic bag, wheezing and coughing and feeling all-round miserable at the way his body contracted for each heave, sending stabs of pain through his belly where the womb was dug in so cruelly.

Allura was rubbing his back in soothing circles when Lance was finally done, and Lance belatedly realised Hunk had traded places with Shiro to offer Lance a cup of water.

"You shouldn't take it out on Shiro," Allura told him gently, her voice quiet. Probably to make sure Shiro wouldn't hear. "He was the one who found you in that house of the Lochtwan, and he didn't take it well at all. When he brought you back he had you wrapped up in a blanket, but even then the sight was traumatic enough for your friends to suffer nightmares over your safety now."

"Oh, of course," he retorted sharply, each word cut himself as much as it was intended to cut Allura, "my friends were traumatised by the sight of me, so I should be nice to them. Sure thing, Allura, I'll keep that in mind next time. Not like _I_ am traumatised or anything, that'd be silly - I should really be more considerate of the feelings of the _functional_ paladins."

"That's not what Allura meant and you know it, Lance."

Ouch. Being chastised by Hunk was always way worse than anyone else being mad at him, even Shiro. Lance pouted and looked down at his hands in his lap guiltily, pulling the hem of his shirt so the swell of his belly wasn't visible.

"You can be angry, Lance."

Lance's head shot up in surprise when he heard Keith. _Was even Keith going to console him now?_

"You have all the right to be angry." Keith crouched next to Lance, where Coran had been before. His face was set serious, if slightly uncomfortable at addressing Lance like this. "All we mean to say is that we're trying our best for you, especially Shiro. If we're doing something wrong, just tell us and we try to change it." Keith offered the most awkward, lopsided smile Lance had ever seen before adding, "but if you're going to shout and throw things at someone, pick me for that. Shouting at Shiro is like kicking a puppy."

Lance had snorted at that before he even realised it was funny. But it was, and Keith was right.

He felt around on the floor for something to throw at Keith - he did not pick a filled puke baggy, even Keith didn't deserve to get that thrown at his face - and ended up weakly tossing the half full mug of water at him. Keith caught it and offered him a quick grin before standing up and leaving Lance to suffer the water now seeping into his pants.

"I guess I _could_ use that bed I was supposed to be in now," he admitted, his anger dissipated successfully.

"Then let's get you there, buddy." Hunk grinned and pulled Lance's arm over his shoulders to heave him up on his feet, and moving like that may hurt like hell, but at least he had a soft friend to lean on.

And everything was good again when halfway to his bedroom Shiro caught up with them to support Lance from his other side, looking oddly flushed. So Lance offered him an apologetic grin, enjoying when the pink grew a shade darker on Shiro's face, and happily leaned into the man he was so undeniably in love with.

Just knowing that they were all doing their best, _and Shiro especially_ , was all Lance really needed to be as happy as he could get in this mess.

 

A full phoeb later and Lance was pretty sure he was getting the hang of being in control of his own moods and emotional state again.

Shiro was a near constant presence by his side even after this long, and Lance couldn't help but preen under the attention from time to time. Even with his belly growing bigger, thick stretch lines appearing all over the swell in ugly shades of _bruise_ , Shiro kept all but coddling him, right next to him every step he took.

Of course Lance understood it was probably just some misplaced feeling of guilt on Shiro's side that made him act like this, but that didn't stop him from soaking it all up like a dry sponge. He doubted he'd get a chance to be the centre of Shiro's attention again after this was all over, so he might as well make the most of it, selfish as that was.

"Do you think I'm being selfish?"

_Okay, maybe he wasn't all that in control of his mood swings yet. Screw that, he was just a man at the mercy of weird alien hormones._

"Say what?"

Hunk was giving him a look so full of disbelief at the mere question Lance asked, it was actually reassuring him a little already. Even Pidge had glanced up to give him an incredulous look, despite being in the middle of cracking a supposedly pretty hard Galra code.

Shiro was currently absent, but only because Keith had physically dragged him off to train, saying Shiro was neglecting himself and Hunk and Pidge could take care of Lance for a bit. Which was so painfully true, Shiro had barely even put up a token of protest at being dragged out, just giving Lance a quick promise he'd be back as soon as possible.

Lance was flattered, probably blushed like a school girl with a crush, and proceeded to bask in the memory of the pink that he thought he saw tinging Shiro's cheeks after he gave him a small wave goodbye.

It was probably his imagination, but it was a pretty _good_ imagination.

"Am I being selfish?" He asked again, gesturing at the state of his bedroom. Pidge had an almost permanent, messy corner set up where the coding happened now, rather than in the green paladin's own room or the station at the bridge. Hunk was set up similarly in a pile of what looked like scrap metal, but was _something_ he was currently engineering into something useful.

Shiro had never brought anything in though. He always had either his full attention on Lance, or going through tactical movements of the Galra on a tablet when Lance himself was otherwise occupied. Lance wasn't entirely sure how to interpret the lack of Shiro making himself comfortable.

"How _exactly_ do you see selfishness in us taking care of our friend and team mate while you are literally bedridden with an alien parasite?"

"I'm not bedridden," Lance pouted, even if he was currently definitely in bed because he'd been moving around for almost an hour straight earlier and he was exhausted from that much. "But I guess, if you put it like that…"

"How else were we supposed to put it?" Pidge questioned, tone nothing but confusion.

"Well, I mean… I'm taking up pretty much all of your attention… and letting Shiro pamper me like some spoiled child…" He pulled his legs up against himself so hide his face behind his knees, even if it was not exactly comfortable sitting like that on his bed. His stomach ached in protest against the added pressure, but Lance was planning to ignore it as long as he could.

"You and Shiro _both_ feel better the more you let him take care of you," Hunk pointed out. He went back to fiddling with his tech, like the obvious had been said and it no longer required him to watch Lance for it.

"You think?" Lance wasn't convinced. "He must think I'm so useless by now…"

"Shiro is literally the last one who'd call you useless," Hunk told him around a screwdriver between his lips. "We can know, because Allura said something that he misinterpreted as her calling you useless and he blew a fuse."

"He did?" Now Lance dared to look up over his knees again, slowly letting his legs slide down flat on the bed again for the more comfortable position for his belly. "He must blame himself so bad for what happened to me, if he's that protective now. He barely even spoke to me before this."

Both Pidge and Hunk looked up at once, giving him a long, piercing look that Lance couldn't place. On neither of them. He had no clue what they were staring for.

"What?" He finally snapped, uncomfortable under their gazes.

"Shiro isn't acting like he is just because he's feeling guilty," Hunk slowly told him. "And not just because you're a member of the team either."

"Are you saying he thrives over being able to baby a friend in need?" That one came out more self-deprecating than intended, but before Hunk could give an indignant response the alarms of the Castle started blaring.

"Quiznak," Hunk cursed whole-heartedly, before pointing at Lance sharply. "This conversation is not over." Then he turned and ran out of Lance's room with Pidge, leaving Lance where he was in what was currently the most stabilised room.

As much as Lance wanted to get up and to the bridge to help, he had no idea what was going on and he was exhausted. He would probably barely make it out of his room right now.

But this wasn't exactly a time he would be able to fall asleep either.

The room rocked, and Lance shifted to lay himself down, hoping to minimise the nausea that would come with the movements as the Castle got hit by what was probably Galra fire. But he couldn't _relax_. He couldn't just lay here and close his eyes without the worry for his friends eating at him. _The worry for Shiro_. And he was useless, and without him there was no Voltron, and a whole lion less, and-

He grabbed the tablet that was next to his bed with shaking hands, opening the communication screens so he could at least see what was going on.

_He should not have_ .

They were surrounded by the biggest fleet of Galra ships Lance had ever seen, and the lions were already overwhelmed when they had barely even started. The Castle was hit again and Lance felt the room tilt a little even under all the extra stabilisers installed for him.

But the worst was the _sounds_.

Distress was in every voice on the comms, crying for help and warning about taking too much damage. Hunk sounded hysterical and Keith may be dead silent, Lance could see the strain on his face over the screens.

_They needed Voltron._

Any sense of exhaustion was gone as adrenaline shit through him, and Lance awkwardly clambered out of his bed, tablet clutched in one hand while the other kept him steady against the wall. The team needed him, and he may not be of much use by himself, he could at least be there and try to keep up when they formed Voltron. He _had_ to. This was no time to be weak and whiny over the stabbing pains in his belly and the way his stomach lurched as soon as he stepped out of the stabilised room into a hall that was shaking under the force of an assault.

_No time to be weak_ .

And yet, it was impossible to walk faster than a slow crawl, frustrating and maddening. His friends were crying over the comms, _getting beaten, dying, because Lance was too slow_ -

And then there was a cry of relief.

Lance stopped, heavily panting while he slumped against the wall to lift the tablet to his face so he could look. The light appliance felt like lead in his hands, and he needed to blink several times before his vision stopped swimming and he could see what was going on.

The blue lion had joined the fight.

_But how-?_

Just as Shiro called for the paladins to form Voltron, Lance registered who was piloting Blue. It was Allura.

Allura was piloting Blue, and the paladins were forming Voltron. They would not die, they could defeat the Galra fleet like this.

_They didn't need someone like Lance who was too weak to keep up._

_Lance was no longer holding the team back. He was obsolete._

He crumpled to the floor in the middle of the hallway, trying to keep himself from sobbing, but it was useless. His full exhaustion caught back up with him and _he was hurting, fuck he was hurting so bad_. The Castle shook and notably veered off to the side, and Lance promptly threw up his latest meal over the hallway floor. _Another mess for his friends to clean up for him_.

He wheezed, sobbed and curled up as well as he could while the tears rolled down his face, head throbbing now and his lower belly hurting like it was ripped open with a knife to spill his guts over the floor instead of just his stomach's contents.

_He was useless now._

 

Lance woke with a jolt from his own legs jerking up as if jumping - only he was flat on his back and not going anywhere.

Not anywhere but straight into a panic attack, breathing sharpening straight into short, too deep wheezes that had his vision blur beyond the haziness of just waking up, his heart pounding wildly from a nightmare he couldn't remember.

"Shh, Lance, you're alright. Calm your breathing, just follow after me - breathe in, two, three - breathe out, two, three, four, five - breathe in-"

Face framed by a warm flesh hand and a cooler, lukewarm metal hand and Shiro's calming voice, it wasn't as hard to come back to himself as Lance would've expected it to be. Shiro pressed their foreheads together while counting their breaths unhurriedly, giving Lance all the time he may need.

The closeness and the care made him feel better - right until he remembered the last thing that happened, the situation he had passed out in.

_Replaced and useless._

Lance veered back from how he'd leaned into Shiro's touch, eyes wide despite the colourful flashes in his vision.

"It's just me," Shiro tried to reassure him, visibly taken off guard by Lance's reaction.

Lance let out a breath, unsure why Shiro even _cared_ anymore. "Shiro…" He gulped, averting his eyes from that slightly confused but definitely distressed face. He pushed awkwardly at Shiro's chest for some distance between them, and even though he didn't push hard, he didn't miss the flash of hurt on Shiro's face.

Shiro reluctantly released Lance's face, but rested his hands lightly on Lance's shoulders instead. "Are you alright? Did you get hurt? We found you in the hallway- what happened?"

It was funny, but even without hyperventilating it felt hard to breathe, this close to Shiro. It was only the man he loved and the leader who no longer needed him. It was almost insulting, how worried Shiro dared to look and sound after Allura just replaced Lance and pretty much got rid of the only reason that would make it worthwhile for the team to keep a nuisance and burden like Lance around.

"N-nothing happened," Lance finally managed to grit out. "I saw you guys were in trouble, so I tried to come… just couldn't get far, with how useless I am. Lucky Allura could step in to fill in for my failure."

_Okay so he was a little bitter, sue him._

But Shiro outright sputtered in protest. "You're not useless, Lance! You may not be at your best right now, but even in this state you've proved repeatedly how invaluable you are for the team, while any other man would've stuck to bed until this whole parasite business was over! If anything, you've proven how amazing you are by refusing to be useless, against all better judgement."

Any other time and Lance would've preened under Shiro calling him amazing, especially with that wide-eyed, earnest look on his face. But right now, Lance was too focused on something else.

"I'm not invaluable to the team, Shiro. A blue paladin is what's invaluable, and you clearly have a new one now, one that's actually useful and badass and everything. You don't have to coddle me anymore."

Shiro's grip on Lance's shoulders tightened and for a moment he thought Shiro was going to get angry. Lance sucked in a sharp breath in preparation, but all Shiro ended up doing was closing his eyes for a moment to recollect himself.

"You _are_ the blue paladin, Lance. There's no difference there. Allura stepped in temporarily, and she's very happy the blue lion called for her but she already expressed she has no intention to replace you. She will stand in until you have recovered, and no longer."

"But why?" Lance questioned sharply, pushing himself up with his elbows until Shiro let him sit upright. "Her father created the lions so she's more suitable-"

"-the blue lion chose _you_ as her paladin, Lance."

"Allura is clearly more capable than I!"

"Lance!"

Lance's teeth clicked together in his hurry to close his mouth, taken off guard by the scolding tone of voice. Shiro was no longer accepting an argument, he was putting authority in his voice now.

"Allura commands the Castle of Lions. She has her own role to play, and it is not as one of the paladins of Voltron. Losing you as the blue paladin will cripple the team, because even if Allura takes your place so we can form Voltron, Coran can't fill her shoes nor do both their jobs at once from the Castle. _You are invaluable to the team_ , Lance." Shiro huffed and sat back, finally releasing Lance's shoulders to so he could turn away from him, as if Lance was not supposed to hear the mutter that followed. "And even more so to me, you idiot."

If Lance was not supposed to hear that part, Shiro really should've lowered his voice a little more. He was probably too worked up to do so, and Lance was not particularly sorry for hearing _that_ bit.

Lance scooted forward on the bed a little to bring himself a little closer to Shiro again before he hazarded "…you _have_ been sacrificing a lot of your time for me…"

"It's not a sacrifice-" only a little bit of heat was back to Shiro's voice, but it immediately stuttered to a halt when he realised how close Lance was as he turned back to face him. The blush on his face was immediate and bright, and maybe it was the alien hormones speaking but it gave Lance a whole lot more hope than he probably should allow himself.

"You enjoy taking care of someone who's weak and sick?" Lance grinned to make it sound as a joke, but he knew it was not, and he knew that _Shiro_ knew as well.

"I-I enjoy taking care of _you_ ," Shiro corrected accordingly, a whole lot more bashful now.

It was actually really cute. The same man who just stood his ground as the leader of Voltron, hard authority in his voice as he scolded Lance, was now blushing and shy. And visibly unable to tear his eyes away from Lance's lips too.

Not that Lance could judge. He had a hard time looking away from Shiro's lips as well, he just _had_ to flicker his gaze up to the rest of the man's face to make sure he wasn't being incredibly presumptuous.

Maybe he wasn't.

Shiro actually jumped a little when Lance put a hand on his shoulder to steady himself, but he didn't waste much time once Lance used that steadying hold to lean in a little further. A breath later their lips were pressed to each other, closed and dry and chaste, but dizzyingly amazing nonetheless.

Lance gasped for no other reason than how surprisingly awesome this was, and rather than pulling away and giving Lance space Shiro pressed in a little further, parting his lips together with Lance's while putting a grounding hand between Lance's shoulder blades.

Neither took the initiative of adding tongue, but Lance couldn't say he missed it. He was perfectly fine just drowning in the heat of Shiro's lips on his own, the taste of him, the heady scent of Shiro _so close_. He wasn't sure when exactly he had closed his eyes, but he doubted he would be able to handle the visuals when he was already feeling so overstimulated from touch, taste and smell. Like a frayed nerve, and he was shuddering under the attentions, but all of it was _good, so good_. All the pain of a parasitic alien womb lodged in his intestine was totally worth it if his prize was to be just this kiss.

Naturally, it wasn't to last.

There was no warning before the door slid open with a quiet hiss, and they jumped apart as if burned, Lance flinching at the sudden movement jolting his stomach.

Allura gave them a confused and slightly suspicious look from the doorway. "…why do you look like I just caught you two with your hands in Hunk's cookie jar?"

Shiro stood abruptly, his face burning red - _adorable_ , Lance thought - and cleared his throat in the most obvious awkward way ever. "I-I should really go check on the rest of the team. You can look after Lance until Hunk or Pidge return, right?"

Before Allura could answer Shiro was already fleeing out of the room, leaving Lance to chuckle awkwardly at her questioning gaze. "I wanted to talk to you about the blue lion but… did I interrupt something?"

Lance chuckled again, absent-mindedly touching his lips, still moist and warm from the kiss. "Yeah… but it's alright. I'm sure we will finish our conversation later."

Allura nodded curtly and came closer to sit down on a chair next to the bed, and Lance's eyes wandered one last time to the door.

_Shiro had_ better _come back to finish that conversation later._


	3. Chapter 3

A generous four phoebs in and Lance was _huge_.

Like, he would compare himself to a whale if he hadn't seen that specific comparison be used by pregnant women in books too often. If someone would poke his belly with a finger, he was certain he would pop like a balloon.

Lance vindictively hoped he would splatter whoever poked him with all the gore if he did, because with the way he ached without pause, it would be a very painful death for sure.

He had maybe a dozen quintants to go, give or take a few, but he never wanted something to end as badly as he did this now.

The stabbing pains of the claw-like appendages the womb was anchored with had faded somewhat, but only to be replaced by the constant throb of being stretched to his limit. He wasn't sure how women did it, but he would swear men were not made to be able to stretch this far, so fast. His belly was like a gigantic and incredibly painful bruise, and his own heartbeat was pounding on it like a drum.

Coran was giving him heavy doses of painkillers to get through, but even so he was once again completely bedridden, the slightest movement hurting so bad it would bring him to tears without fail. The upside to the painkillers was they made him drowsy as well, so he slept more than he was awake at the moment.

_Small mercies._

The time he was awake was all the more awful for it. He was not able to move without instant pain and keeping still had never really been one of his bigger talents. That left all his waking time to either talking to whatever poor sod was keeping him company at the time - usually Shiro, luckily - or spiralling in his own thoughts. And considering his long nap times, waking time happened as often during the night cycle as during the day.

And sure, Shiro was right there even then, initially passed out with just his arms and head resting on the bed and later just laying next to Lance because ' _quiznak, Shiro_ , _stop ruining your back',_ but despite Shiro's insistence that Lance could wake him anytime, Lance just _couldn't_. Especially not now Shiro was next to him, looking so peaceful asleep after they had unconsciously cuddled together earlier. Shiro had more than enough to worry about without Lance disturbing his preciously rare sleep as well.

And there were just _so many doom scenarios_ to consider.

One of his biggest worries was the size the alien womb had grown, and how it was supposed to come out 'naturally'. He was _not_ a woman with wide hips and an extra large gap in his pelvis to squeeze babies through, and this wasn't just a baby that could slither itself out after the skull came through. This was a whole _womb_. And as far as he understood, he was going to be shitting out the whole womb before the alien baby would come out of it, to avoid contact of the newborn with the carrier's fecal matter.

All very smart and all, but how in the world was that whole huge womb that made his body distend like he was supposed to fit Pidge in it going to fit through his narrow, male pelvis?

This was actually also the worry he had ended up waking Shiro with, albeit it by accident, but he couldn't say he wasn't grateful for being helped out of his panic attack, considering how badly each heave for air hurt. Once the others woke up Pidge had immediately searched the data they had received to find an answer for Lance's worries, forgoing everything from breakfast to pee break in order to get his info.

Turned out, the womb and baby alien within were pretty squishy, something Lance had not figured out because it had been too painful to press down on his belly. Both womb and baby within were going to have no trouble squeezing out, although it was a good thing Lance wasn't smaller. Had he been a Pidge sized guy, he would've been screwed.

Hunk assured him that the aliens who impregnated him may be rapist bastards, but would not have been so stupid to place their baby in a host that wouldn't be able to birth it alive. And that made enough sense to let Lance relax, even with the niggling thought that the aliens had _no idea_ how big a human pelvis was.

Other worries bothering him at night varied wildly from admittedly utterly ridiculous to fair concerns. Even after stewing on it for hours Lance knew rationally he was not going to explode if the little tube that kept his digestive tract open got stuck, because Coran was monitoring him with extreme care and had already took action with laxatives once when there seemed a risk, long before any gory explosions were on the table. Lance also knew there was no way the alien baby was going to change its mind about a natural birth down the drain and dig its way out through Lance's abdominal wall like it was a bad horror movie, because they had all the data proving otherwise - not to mention this being a _consensual_ procedure under normal circumstances, and no alien species was going to make it far when every birth meant killing off a friend or family member.

But there were plenty more legit worries - like the womb never dislodging, missing some important alien cue for birth that Lance's body could not provide. Or the substances that should keep him from bleeding out not working well enough once the womb came loose, leaving big holes in Lance's innards that would make him bleed to death fast and hard. Or the hooks anchoring it in place not fully retracting and tearing open his large intestine start to end on its way out.

Or the the supposedly squishy womb and alien being not as squishy as promised and completely destroying his arsehole on the way out.

That one was particularly worrying, because he'd have to _live_ with the damage, unlike the other, much more fatal scenarios. Nothing like months of constant agony to make you a whole lot more worried about living than dying, really.

So no, Lance was not having a good time, being awake at night with nothing but pain, his own damn head, and too many guilty feelings to be willing to wake Shiro up.

The night cycle always felt _so much longer_ than the day cycle.

It always made him particularly eager to start talking the moment Shiro shifted, waking from nothing but his internal clock.

"Will you fuck me?"

The initial reaction was just Shiro shifting again, a confused noise muffled into Lance's hair.

And it was probably because Shiro wasn't really awake yet, but Lance's was self-aware enough to know he'd been a little bit on the blunt side there. So he backpedaled. "I-I mean, I fully understand it if you say no - no, you probably _will_ say no, I hardly look attractive or s-sexy like this, I couldn't fault a porn star for being unable to get it up looking at me like this so it's only natural that you would decline-"

He was silenced by a hand over his mouth, but Shiro didn't take more than a few more ticks to wrap his head around what Lance was babbling about, and to form an appropriate reply.

"I'm-" he had to clear his throat, voice croaking with sleep. "I'm going to say no because I don't want to hurt you, _not_ because of the way you look. You're no less attractive to me now than you were before."

"That's a terrible reason though," Lance laughed, unable to hide the edge of hysteria that came from stewing in his own thoughts for so long. "I'm in pain no matter what we do or don't do. If we'd have sex I might actually have a bit of pleasure again for a change."

Shiro took a moment to process that. "Is that why you're asking? If that's all I would rather just, uhm, lend you a hand?" Lance could _hear_ the blush on Shiro's face with how flustered he sounded offering a handjob. It was probably that cuteness that allowed Lance to relax a little, feeling less on edge with Shiro being _Shiro_ next to him.

"No, that's not it," he admitted truthfully. "I'm just… sorry, I've been awake for a few vargas so I'm just being ridiculous again."

That was clearly not the answer Shiro wanted to hear, because Lance lost the thick bicep that had been functioning as his pillow so Shiro could turn on his side and loom over Lance, a concerned frown on his pink face. "You're not being ridiculous, Lance. I'm sorry I didn't wake any sooner, you shouldn't have to go through this alone-"

Lance made a disgusted noise of protest, pressing his hands against Shiro's chest immediately. "No, okay, _you're_ the one being ridiculous then. You need your sleep and I refuse to keep you up at night because I can't stop thinking about whether an alien parasite is going to destroy my arsehole or not."

Shiro's eyebrows shot up into his hairline, and suddenly they were both blushing red.

_Might as well finish that train of thought then._ "I asked you to fuck me because if birthing this thing destroys my arsehole I might never have the chance to have nice sex ever again. And- and I really want to have had sex with you  _at least_ once."

"There's more ways to have sex than for me to stick it up your arse, Lance." Shiro sounded particularly choked by now.

"I know," Lance whined, no longer pushing on Shiro's chest. Instead he had curled his hands into Shiro's loose night shirt, and he was tugging slightly now. "But I _want_ it. And soon it might not be possible anymore."

"I… I'll think about it," Shiro managed to bring out. The peck he placed on Lance's lips before pulling away and getting up was possibly the shortest he had ever given him, and Lance was worried for a moment that he was pushing this sex thing too hard, that Shiro didn't know how he would be getting it up for Lance in this state after all despite his words.

The bulge in Shiro's boxer briefs proved otherwise, because no matter how fast Shiro moved to put on some pants, Lance could not have missed _that_.

_Quiznak._

Lance's mouth was dry like a desert all of a sudden.

"I'm, uhm, going to get us some breakfast first," Shiro told him awkwardly, and Lance nodded, speechless. _Speechless but hopeful_.

Of course he was well aware he wouldn't be getting any of that thick looking dick any time soon, not with the whole team filing into his bedroom with bowls of their foodgoo to eat breakfast with him, but at least Shiro was thinking about it. And if his thoughts could lead to something that size _that_ fast, then Lance wasn't all that worried anymore.

 

It didn't escape _anyone's_ notice that _Shiro_ was the one dragging Keith to the training deck after breakfast, for the first time volunteering to leave Lance's side without a look of guilt since this thing started.

Instead he looked flustered and in a hurry to be out of the room.

"What did you do to Shiro?" Hunk asked suspiciously, and Lance sputtered in protest.

"I didn't do anything to him! I just… gave him something to think about, I guess." That wasn't a lie and he was going to go down with that explanation, even with the highly suspicious looks both Hunk and Pidge gave him.

They spared him though, way too nice since he was in pain (and reacted irrationally emotional when teased sometimes, but Lance liked to pretend that never happened). "Alright, if you say so. I'll just… go get something to work on while Coran checks you over."

Hunk left with a last suspicious look at Lance, but fuck if Lance cared at this point. He was going to fall asleep once Coran gave him his painkillers again anyway, and he expected to be sleeping like a baby for once, with the prospect of Shiro having sex with him.

He was out for the count before Hunk even returned, and when he woke after a few vargas it was just Shiro in the room again, despite the time of day. In the time Lance had slept, Shiro had traded the flush of embarrassment for a flush of working out, looking no less red - or attractive - now he was all but drenched in sweat.

"You're a damned little tease," Shiro told him, before he could so much as wake up enough to make a comment on how sexy Shiro looked. "I hope you're proud, because I couldn't stop thinking about what you asked and Keith wiped the whole training deck with me."

Lance snorted despite himself, quickly covering his mouth with both hands. Everyone knew Keith rarely managed to get the upper hand on Shiro even after training for so long now, so this must've… raised questions. Questions Lance couldn't see Shiro answering to the guy he saw as his little brother.

"So does that mean you'll fuck me?" All the pain in the world could not have stopped Lance from grinning cheekily as he asked Shiro that.

Shiro visibly gulped, and rather than giving a verbal reply he took a bottle from his pocket and pointedly put it down on the side table that was rolled to Lance's bed. It wasn't labelled, but by the way Shiro's face grew a darker shade of red when Lance waggled his eyebrows at him, it was very likely lube.

"How do you want me?" Lance made kissy faces at Shiro, partially to keep the poor man so adorably flustered, but also to cover up his own nervousness. Needless to say that the last time he had sex it didn't end so well, and now that Shiro had actually agreed to do it Lance felt a growing awareness of just how difficult this was going to be without the whole process just being him crying in pain from moving around.

"Carefully," Shiro answered, and Lance chuckled, equal parts amused and relieved. "I thought… well, we'll want to move you around as little as possible, so I was thinking you on the edge of the bed and me next to it, so I won't rock the whole bed with every movement."

"You really thought this through, didn't you," Lance teased lightly, but he gave Shiro a grateful smile nonetheless. "Thank you for that."

The way Shiro rubbed his neck was - _oh, Lance was calling him adorable in his head too often now, but he couldn't stop._

"You have to promise me to tell me if it hurts to much."

"I will," Lance swore gently, putting a hand over his heart for a moment before reaching both hands out to Shiro. "Help me get in position?"

Lance tried his damn best to stay quiet when Shiro gently manhandled him to lay with his hips over the edge of the bed, legs propped up on the side table until he was comfortable. Despite everything that Shiro had already done for him while taking care of him - all the _deeply_ humiliating things since he'd gotten bedridden like this - he still felt embarrassed and exposed when Shiro relieved him of his underwear before slipping between his legs, letting Lance's knees hook over his shoulders for now.

He may have been cocky a moment ago, but now Shiro was kneeling between his legs and spurting lube on his fingers while taking in the completely unobstructed view of Lance's privates to his hugely blown up belly full of stretch marks, he just couldn't keep himself from covering his burning face with his hands.

"Oh, _now_ you get shy?" Shiro's chuckle was hardly malicious, but Lance still squeaked a little when two fingers slick with cool lube trailed down his perineum and through his crack. "Didn't expect you to be all bark and no bite, Lance." The 'your stomach is proof of that' was luckily left unsaid, because it would've been one hell of a mood killer.

"Easy for you to say," Lance tried to snip back, even though he sounded more flustered than upset. "You're not the one spread open and exposed for your crush to peer up your arse any second."

The just served to make Shiro laugh again, and really, it was unfair how fast these tables had turned just now. "Try saying 'boyfriend' instead of 'crush' and it's not that bad."

And it was _even more unfair_ that Shiro chose that moment to slip a finger into Lance's hole, when Lance's mind was reeling with Shiro calling him boyfriend and completely unprepared.

They hadn't talked about this. They had just been kissing, like, _a lot_. And Shiro sleeping next to him and the cuddling and stuff. They hadn't told the rest of the team, but Lance was fairly certain they all knew. Still, the fact that they didn't tell anyone nor ever kissed when someone else was present meant that neither had ever brought up the topic of what exactly they were now.

Of course, Lance should know that Shiro wasn't going around kissing people he wasn't serious about, because this was _Shiro_ , but he had just enough self-esteem issues that he never dared to _assume_.

Needless to say, he was a blubbering, embarrassed mess under Shiro's attentions now. And Shiro, oh that lovable _asshole_ , would of course worry about that. 

The first finger was maybe halfway in, Lance couldn't see, but Shiro stopped when Lance didn't respond or reacted with anything but an embarrassed whimper. "…I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"N-no!" Lance quickly uncovered his face, even if it was _really embarrassing_ to look Shiro in the eyes in his current state, but he knew that was the best way to make Shiro believe him and continue.

And it worked, because the finger inside of him started pumping carefully, feeling around as if looking for something. "Okay, that's good. Remember you promised to tell me-"

"-yes, I remember," Lance blurted quickly. "Now get on with it and give me another! I want to feel good, Shiro, it's been so long…"

A bit of begging like that did the trick perfectly, because Shiro was quick to rub the tip of a second finger against Lance's rim until it relaxed and let him in. _Perfect_.

Lance would not dare to admit it to Shiro at this point, but he had actually fully expected it to hurt. Every bit of pressure to his belly hurt at the moment, whether it was touch or movement, so there was no reason to expect pressure from _below_ to not do the same thing. And yet, surprisingly, this wasn't the case.

Discomfort was the worst Lance could claim, when Shiro's knuckles came to rest against the stretching muscles of his hole. Like a tickle against his oversensitive belly - nothing but a reminder of how it would hurt if it was pushed against him just a little harder. He could only vaguely wonder if it was his pelvic bone offering protection before deciding the fingers wriggling around inside of him were definitely too distracting to muse about his own stretched anatomy.

Rather than dwelling on the technicalities any further, Lance relaxed with a content sigh. "Fuck… this is nice."

Maybe it was a good thing he missed the way Shiro's eyes all but sparkled at that, because he might've made a comment about it that would've stopped the other from leaning down and laving his tongue around his fingers over the rim.

Lance squawked in surprise, both hands quickly wrapping around his belly to minimise the shock as he jumped reflexively. It was easy enough to bite down the moan of pain, but Shiro still muttered an earnest apology from his spot at Lance's arsehole.

"Don't apologise and keep going," Lance ordered breathlessly, and he might've been embarrassed about the way it made Shiro chuckle if it wasn't for the way the laughter vibrated against his skin.

_Fuck, but Shiro knew exactly what he was doing down there_ .

His tongue and fingers were _doing_ things and Lance couldn't see shit over the swell of his own belly, just a small tuft of black hair from the back of Shiro's head every once in a while while Shiro went to town on him. No touches to his cock, just two - no three now - fingers carefully pumping inside of him, rubbing against his walls as tenderly as if he was petting a baby animal, and a hot tongue lapping at the crease where they joined. Lance's perineum was given occasional attention from either tongue or thumb, but always hot skin, the cooler prosthetic remaining firmly on Lance's hip to keep him still.

And fuck, that was a necessary hold to ground him, or Lance would be bucking up and grinding against Shiro's face and fingers, and that would only serve to hurt Lance right now.

"Don't squirm so much, you're going to hurt yourself."

Lance cursed under his breath at Shiro's hum against him, squirming a little harder just to protest. That _did_ hurt him though, so he stopped almost immediately with an annoyed groan.

Or it _was_ an annoyed groan, right until it hitched up into a whine of need when Shiro managed to lightly rake his teeth over his stretched rim, angling his fingers just so to allow it. _Lance never knew teeth could be that awesome._

And _then_ , as if this wasn't too much already, Shiro pressed his fingers right up against Lance's prostate.

It was impossible to hold back the loud keen, especially since the pleasure bordered on painful with that bit of pressure, but he was seeing stars and his hips were jerking with what little space they had under Shiro's iron grip.

"Please- please please, Shiro please-"

Shiro gave a soft hum and leaned away after a quick kiss to Lance's perineum. "Wasn't expecting you to beg so quickly. Do you think you're ready?"

"I'm ready," Lance swore, and reached out both hands towards Shiro. "Please give me- Shiro, I want you-"

And then the weirdest thing… Shiro looked _troubled_. Lance shivered but stopped his pleading and the grabby hands he was making, worried for what was wrong.

"…Shiro?"

Surprisingly, Shiro flushed red again, embarrassment overlaying the pink of excitement. "I want to… This position is so I won't hurt you, and that's the most important thing but… it's a shame that it's not more intimate…"

Lance blinked, needing a moment to let that sink in before blushing like mad as well.

Shiro was right though, it _was_ a shame. For all his playing around and pretending to be a womaniser, Lance was a romantic at heart and he wanted nothing more than for his first time with Shiro to be done with their breaths mingling between them, be it by kissing throughout or with their foreheads pressed together, or just gazing into each other's eyes while Shiro pressed into him-

_Fuck, he needed to stop this train of thought before he embarrassed himself any further_ .

"Y-you could-" Lance had to swallow heavily, and only barely managed to meet Shiro's eyes, "you could lay behind me, so we do this spooning?"

The sheer delight on Shiro's face at the offered solution should be illegal, because it was too adorable and it made Lance's heart melt in a little puddle of love. _Not fair, not fair at all_.

Shiro helped him back on the bed properly and then very carefully supported him to roll onto his side - and that much they already perfected to make as painless as possible, because Shiro refused to let him lie in the same position for more than a few hours ever since he got stuck to being in bed. Shiro sliding in behind him to spoon up against his back wasn't a strange thing either, even if this was the first time with the lights on and _definitely_ the first time while Lance had his underwear around his knees. 

The fact that this time also came with a hard bulge that was straining against Shiro's pants being pressed to Lance's backside made it less embarrassing and a whole lot more exciting though.

"Are you really sure you want this-"

"Yes," Lance answered quickly, not letting Shiro even finish his question.

There was a sigh that might also have been an amused sound, Lance wasn't sure, and then Shiro just _had_ to remind him one more time. "Tell me when I hurt you."

Lance made an impatient noise and tried to push back against Shiro's crotch, but it made his belly hurt so he didn't try too hard. Besides, Shiro needed the space to reach between them and work his own underwear down. Lance grabbed the bottle of lube to squirt a generous amount into Shiro's palm, chuckling at the obscene sound that came with it like the mature guy he was - sue him, he took his laughter where he could these days - and then tried not to tense in anticipation when he felt the back of Shiro's hand brush against his arse as he spread the lube over his cock.

But even then Shiro wasn't pressing in yet.

He left his lubed up cock to rest in Lance's crack, quickly wiping his hand off somewhere so he could tilt Lance's face back and meet his lips in a kiss. Lance about ready to demand Shiro just _get on with it_ , but then again he couldn't resist the soft, wet kisses, sloppy under the angle.

Even more so because this was apparently how Shiro had wanted it from the start, keeping Lance's lips to himself with a light nip of teeth while lining up his cock and slowly tilting his hips forward to find Lance's rim with the head.

Lance reached down behind him to try spread his cheeks with one hand, knowing he would not be able to lift his leg without hurting himself, and luckily it was enough.

_Shit, Shiro was big_ .

Shiro started to rock against him ever so lightly, Lance straining to keeps his cheeks spread until the head finally popped inside. Lance gasped sharply and Shiro froze, so he impatiently patted Shiro's hip to indicate he should keep going.

"D-don't stop, I want it all-"

Shiro actually whined at that. "Lance… I'm trying to hold back and not hurt you, so please try not to say things like that."

_Yeah, like Lance would stop after learning how that affected Shiro._

He arched a little just so he could nip at Shiro's lips now, tugging his bottom lip with a soft growl. " _Fuck me,_ Shiro."

There was a growl, _an honest to god growl_ , and then one short buck of Shiro's hips, making Lance gasp sharply and scramble for a hold on the bed. It was not entirely pleasant, but it didn't _really_ hurt either… but Shiro had made his point.

"Be patient, Lance."

The low, gravelly tone, the sheer _authority_ in Shiro's voice - yeah, _that_ was what Lance wanted. More than he wanted to get pounded into the bed when everything hurt. Lance counted himself lucky that begging for one thing gave him the other, considering he hadn't even known how badly he craved it.

But now he was getting it, Shiro's teeth worrying against the line of his jaw because Lance had leaned away too far to kiss from that one thrust, and his hips rolling in small, aborted motions up against Lance to slowly penetrate him deeper, inch by agonising slow inch. Lance's breath was caught in his throat as he felt himself being filled up, Shiro's cock so much thicker than the thin things he'd last been fucked with by those aliens, but so much better and so much more pleasing. It was nothing like his last experience, not as intense and hazy but infinitely more intimate and _fuck, so good_.

Keening Shiro's name had the desired effect of the little thrusts going _just a little faster_ , and Lance finally remembered to lean back enough for their lips to meet again. Shiro all but devoured his mouth with how quick he was to get their lips together again, licking and nipping and _tasting_ until Lance was whimpering with need and arousal, pressing his back up against Shiro's chest as well as he could manage.

"You're so _tight_ ," Shiro murmured against his lips. "You sure I'm not hurting you, kitten?" Lance keened sharply in surprise at the pet name, and Shiro quickly kissed him again before asking him. "Can I call you that? Kitten?"

"Fuck yes," Lance breathed in response, shaking in Shiro's arms with need as Shiro bottomed out. Once again, the deepest press was uncomfortable, bordering on painful, but nothing compared to the kind of pain he was in all the time these days. It was astounding how much of this felt _good_ before the penetration became too deep.

And well, with Shiro being so good to him, Lance supposed he could give Shiro what _he_ wanted as well, and make him back up just a little bit and avoid any bouts of guilt if he'd find out it actually did hurt.

"Please-" Lance licked his lips, taking a shuddering breath before trying again. "Please fuck me, but not so deep? The first bit is amazing but when you go in fully- there-there's too much pressure when you do."

Shiro had already pulled out to the tip before Lance could finish, so he whined to let him know he was overreacting.

"Please Shiro, don't stop- you can't stop! Just-just not completely?"

"I'm so sorry," Shiro pressed kisses to Lance's lips and cheek, little butterfly kisses for an apology that wasn't necessary. "I will keep it shallow. Thank you for telling me, kitten."

Lance arched and keened again, because _fuck_ that petname did _things_ to him. He wasn't sure why Shiro was going with 'kitten' of all things, but he could wait with asking. For now he just wanted more of it.

More of everything.

Especially more of how Shiro starting moving ever so carefully, with shallow little thrusts too slow to rock Lance's body and hurt him further.

Too slow. It was nice how Shiro really didn't want to hurt him, but like this he wasn't going to get any pleasure out of it either.

"Shiro-o-oo-" Lance complained, moaning his name as needily as he could - which was pretty needy at this point.

"I told you to be patient," Shiro chuckled against Lance's cheek, but he moved a little faster anyway. Smooth, shallow thrusts that just brushed Lance's prostate, but never hit it quite right. Slow and filling and delicious but-

Lance sobbed, trying to get his hand on his own cock without having to rest his arm on his painful belly, but Shiro batted it away. A reminder of patience was murmured straight into his ear now - and _fuck you Shiro, how is a guy supposed to be patient like this?_ \- but he obeyed, throwing his arm back over Shiro's waist behind him to cling to him closer.

With that movement though, he changed the angle and all of a sudden Shiro's thrusts were _perfect_. No longer passing by his prostate smoothly, but jutting straight into it with every little thrust. It was a little more painful on his guts but Lance couldn't care less, just arching and moaning his pleasure.

"That's how you like it, kitten?" Shiro asked softly, lips pressed against Lance's cheek for as long as Lance wasn't kissing him. "Is that the angle you want?"

"Y-yess, Shiro- so good-" Lance was panting with each press of Shiro's cock, even if he was hardly being rough enough to cut Lance's breath short. It still made it easier, let him follow the movement and jostle his belly less, and most importantly it let him _feel_ Shiro.

"Want me to touch you, kitten?" Shiro purred against Lance's ear now, and Lance promptly turned his head to kiss Shiro again.

They were sloppy, messy with spit over their lips, but all Lance wanted was _even more_. "I-if you touch me I-I'll cum," he whined, and he hated that it was true.

It felt like they had barely even started, but if Shiro would touch him now there was no way he would last. _He hadn't had an orgasm in months and there was no holding back with Shiro's dick up his arse_.

"Do you want to?" Shiro licked into his mouth, but pulled back again almost immediately to speak against Lance's lips again. "It's okay if you want to. I just want you to feel amazing, kitten."

"P-please-" Lance begged, and sealed his fate. He was going to be that guy who finished to early the first time he had sex with Shiro.

And somehow it didn't even make him feel all that bad with the way Shiro huffed hot breath against his lips in an aroused moan, hand hurrying down Lance's side to wrap securely around his cock.

"God, you're so perfect, Lance," Shiro groaned against him, and Lance kissed him because he had nothing else to offer. Not with Shiro pumping him in time with his quickening thrusts, all those muscles against his back tensing to keep Lance as still as possible while still thrusting harder and faster, stroking him to his edge quickly.

Lance was all kisses and moans and whimpers, tensing up and trying not to roll his hips into Shiro's hand or back against his cock, because _that would hurt_ and he desperately didn't want to ruin this. Shiro was perfect, the sex was perfect - and if this was to be his last time getting fucked then he would have no regrets.

Shiro swiped the rough pad of his thumb over the wet slit in Lance's cock and next thing Lance knew he was crying, whole body shaking with his orgasm as he released wetly in Shiro's hand.

"So beautiful, kitten," Shiro praised him through his orgasm, "you're so pretty like this. I wish I could watch you like this all day."

"Sh-Shiro-" Lance whimpered. Coming down from his high meant being re-introduced with the pain, and he groaned pitifully. Shiro immediately pulled out of him, shifting away to help Lance roll back on his back a little more hurried than he usually was. Then he straddled Lance's thighs, and Lance watched with widening eyes how Shiro leaned over him, mechanical hand holding his weight on the mattress right above Lance's shoulder while his flesh hand quickly stroked himself with an intensity that could only mean he was really close himself.

"Sh-shit, _Lance_ -" Shiro cursed - Shiro _cursed!_ \- and came all over Lance's distended belly, drawing stripes of white cum over the stretch marks in his skin.

Silence fell between them for just a few seconds, nothing but their combined panting in their ears, right until Shiro tensed up and shot upright with a sound of horror.

"Oh god, Lance, I'm so sorry that was so inappropriate!" He was already pulling at the sheets and trying to wipe the wet stains off Lance's tummy without putting pressure on it, looking frantic and mortified.

So frantic and mortified that Lance couldn't help but start laughing. _And fuck, that was a bad idea,_ laughing so hard was definitely not a good idea for his hurting belly, but Shiro was just so sweet and he looked so helpless, it was too adorable.

Lance grabbed Shiro's wrists to stop his frantic wiping, meeting the confused worried look for a moment before falling back into his laughter, only managing to stop with a low 'ow-ow-ow' when Shiro had turned his hands in Lance's grip and rubbed his thumbs soothingly over his wrists.

"You're not mad," Shiro asked, his voice uncharacteristically small.

"W-why would I be mad?" Lance wheezed, grinning up wildly at Shiro.

"B-because-" Shiro pulled free from Lance's grip to gesture helplessly at the large, bulging belly keeping them from hugging right now. "I just came all over you- over your belly like this, and it's weird and inappropriate! I-I did not get off to you being basically _pregnant_ with an alien parasite but I-I sure made it _look_ like it!"

"Shiro, chill." Lance waved his hand until Shiro gave in and laced their fingers together, tugging Shiro down onto the bed next to him. "It's kind of hard to miss that belly right now, anyway," Lance joked, chuckling at Shiro's grimace. "Okay then how about this? Now that you did that I have at least _one_ good memory of being all blown up like a balloon like this? I actually appreciate it."

Shiro did not look convinced, but he was shuffling closer to hug Lance properly and kiss him. Lance melted into the feeling of Shiro's lips on his, happy with the warmth and the intimacy of it, basking in his afterglow now he got to cuddle with his boyfriend.

_But he couldn't help himself._

"Besides," he teased lightly, smirking against Shiro's lips. "There's nothing wrong with a little breeding kink, _daddy_."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned that the birth scene is on the graphic side, and the designated exit is through the _anus_

From everything Lance knew about the process of giving birth for _humans_ , it was supposed to be agony, filthy, destructive to relationships and exhausting, but mostly agony. Even the highly romanticised depictions in film looked like there was not a single fun thing about child birth, and that was without the actual view, smells or sensations of being there.

Now obviously he was well aware that this was going to be really different. He was not going to be expelling a baby from a uterus, for starters. No, Lance would be shitting out the whole damn uterus and _then_ the baby would come out of it.

There were not going to be heavy contractions to wreck his body, because those all came from muscles that would not be stimulated during this birth - although his lower back muscles had made valiant attempts at recreating contractions without a uterus in sight, as if trying to practice.

No, this birth was just going to be like having to take a particularly hard shit.

Somehow, that wasn't reassuring _at all_.

When the estimated date of the birth was getting near they had very carefully moved Lance to the medbay, a cot installed right between the healing pods so Lance could be put straight into one after he finished. It felt a little intimidating, and he wasn't entirely sure if he _wanted_ to be put straight into a pod after finally getting that alien womb out of him - he much rather cling to Shiro for emotional support, but he was too embarrassed to admit that much - but simultaneously it was calming to know that if there were going to be complications they wouldn't have to drag him kicking and screaming with an alien halfway out of his arse through all the hallways of the Castle.

They were all prepared for it, keeping Lance under constant surveillance of at least two of the team now, instead of a minimum of just one, and there were at least a dozen emergency plans for everything that could go wrong - including both birth mishaps and attacking Galra - and all plans had a contingency plan or two. Heck, the contingency plans had contingency plans. Shiro wasn't going to let anything go wrong.

And still nothing could've prepared Lance for the moment the birth started.

He had been on his back calmly, fingers of one hand entangled with Shiro's and the other holding a tablet over his face to read, when his whole body jolted. It was two whole ticks later that he registered the pain, and he gasped for breath, dropping the tablet and Shiro's hand to wrap his arms around his belly.

He all but vibrated with sudden energy, a jolt of adrenaline coursing through him that he wasn't sure was a good idea at all, and he _felt_ the hooked claws of the alien uterus inside of him retract.

Lance barely registered Hunk putting a compress to his forehead, the sweet scent of it making him jittery for a few tick as he remembered it - _two aliens, smelling so good, so calming, and it hurt but he was feeling so good -_ and then his body started to relax against his will, the alien pheromones helping him.

None of them had been particularly eager about drugging Lance up again like the time he was impregnated with the parasite in the first place, but all their information seemed to point out that it was a necessity not only for lessening the pain, but the chances of the host's survival as well. Births without the parental pheromones to keep the host pliant tended to end badly.

And Lance _didn't like it_ , hated how his body was relaxing for the sweet smell and how the pain was numbing in ways that only served to make him _remember_ , but he wasn't ready to die and Shiro was holding his hand again, so he would endure.

He was carefully put into a better position on the edge of the cot, a basin placed beneath to catch blood and feces and everything that Lance pointedly refused to think about, and Coran had arrived to take position between his legs like a midwife.

Lance had requested it would only be those three to see him through, unless there was an emergency of some sort. It was bad enough as it was, but he couldn't handle the idea of the whole team watching him _give birth_ to an alien with all the dignity of a crying preteen shitting his pants in public.

And then… it stopped.

Not like it _stopped_ stopped - it was still hurting like hell even with the alien pheromones to sedate him - but it _didn't move_. And Lance wasn't sure what to do, because the alien womb was nestled all the way at the start of his colon, so all the squeezing wasn't going to move it _upwards_ where it needed to go first.

Lance whimpered and clamped down on Shiro's hand harder. "It-its not moving-it's not moving! Wh-why isn't it moving?!"

"No need to panic, my boy," Coran hushed before Shiro even got the chance. "I'm sure it will start moving in a few ticks. Maybe you can try pushing it out by squeezing your colon?"

Lance gave Coran his most astonished look of offence over the swell of his belly before dropping his head back and groaning hard.

"Humans can't actually control the movements of our intestines to that extent," Shiro explained Coran worriedly. It was clear Shiro was trying to sound steady, but the worry in his voice was obvious to Lance. By the way Hunk quickly butted in, it had to be obvious to him too.

"I'm sure we just need to give it a little time. Normal child birth doesn't normally happen in a few doboshes either, so I'm sure it's fine."

Lance just groaned louder at that, ignoring the tears stinging in his eyes. "Are you saying I could be here all day?"

The lack of direct response was an answer in itself, and Lance grit his teeth in frustration.

_He hated this so much_ .

"M-maybe we should just-just help it a little and push-" Lance gasped, moving his hands to push down on his belly.

Shiro caught both his wrists with a yelp, pinning them in the air above him and giving him a wide-eyed look. "Or maybe we should _not_ push on the distended belly that has been causing you agony with the slightest bit of pressure for phoebs now!"

…Shiro made a point. Lance pouted and relaxed to indicate he was not going to try push on his belly, vaguely aware that the alien pheromones were maybe making him a little _too_ pliant. It was probably a good thing he wasn't going through this on his own.

"Just be patient," Shiro insisted, taking a seat next to the cot again and gently massaging Lance's hand. It was calming, despite the panic bubbling in his stomach and the jittery feeling of an adrenaline high combined with an alien pheromone high, so Lance clung to it, unsure what else he could do.

Hunk copied the gesture on his other side when it was clear it was helping, and Lance could relax at least a little with his best friend on one side and his boyfriend on the other. Even if Coran was still sitting between his spread legs peering up his arse.

But somehow it seemed the relaxing was exactly what Lance needed to do. As he let out a deep breath, he felt the movement inside of him. It was less like the uterus was moving through his colon and more like his colon was moving around the uterus, but it was progress. If they had to peel his intestines over the clump like turning a sock inside out, then that was what they were going to do. Leaving the thing was not acceptable.

He took another deep, shaky breath, and it helped, the movement inside of him painful but _there_. It was happening. _The thing was moving and it hurt, but it was a good thing_.

"Br-breathing makes is move," he croaked at the three men around him, and they all perked up.

"Want us to help?" Shiro offered quickly. "Breathe together, so you can hold on to the rhythm of it?"

"Did you do your puffing exercises at pregnancy fitness?" Hunk joked hoarsely, looking far too stressed out for his own joke. Lance gave him a slightly lopsided grin regardless, squeezing Hunk's hand reassuringly before turning back to Shiro and giving him a nod.

"Please?"

"Alright! Everyone together then!" Coran sat up straight and moved his hands to direct them all. "Paladins! Breathe in! Hold- hold- aaand breathe out. Breathe in-"

It was weird but it worked, it worked really well, and Lance ignored how ridiculous he felt huffing and puffing like a woman on tv pretending to give birth with Hunk and Shiro on either side of him eagerly joining in - like awkward daddies-to-be on the same tv show. Hunk and Shiro as proud fathers of a spindly alien was at least a funny thought to keep him distracted from the pain.

Every deep breath had the uterus move a little through his colon, the pain shifting and bearing down on the rest of his organs like a heavy animal was stepping on him with tiny feet. Like his old cat but with Shiro's weight. And the pressure was noticeably higher now, his breaths turning more shallow as the mass squeezed its way between Lance's lungs and the rest of his intestines. Shiro and Hunk held his hands a little tighter to keep him focused and when he was getting trouble with the slow pace of breathing Coran helpfully adjusted to easier, shallower breaths for him.

When the uterus reached the curve to go down it felt like a _release_.

_Fuck_ .

Lance whimpered when he realised it was indeed a release, the pressure of the descending uterus now voiding his bowels from everything that was still in there. He clamped down his hands to squeeze as tight as he could, doing the same with closing his eyes and pretending there weren't tears running down his face from the sheer humiliation. He could hear the wet squelches in the basin on the floor and he desperately didn't want to know the face Coran was making, even if he knew it wouldn't be judgemental. Coran had a way with awkward reactions when he didn't know how sensitive humans were to certain things, but he was more than aware of how Lance felt about this, and Coran would never purposely add to his hurt.

And yet.

The Altean currently had the grossest view imaginable, and Lance couldn't even imagine himself ever daring to look Coran in the eye after this ever again.

"You're doing fine, Lance," Shiro promised him, voice low but encouraging. "Don't be ashamed, this is just a part of the process."

Lance bit down on his bottom lip and whimpered, but his tenseness only went down a little when Hunk swapped the compress from his forehead with a fresh one, cooling his face and making the sweet scent surrounding his senses stronger again. With another whimper he managed to relax a little, listening to Shiro murmuring encouragements rather than the wet sounds from the end of the cot as the alien uterus slowly crawled its way down through Lance's colon.

It was close now, close enough that Lance could feel the weight pressing down on his bladder and prostate in a way he almost dared to liken to having sex. If, at least, it was coming from the other side.

It would have to narrow itself to squeeze through the gap in Lance's pelvis, and Lance felt his breath hitch in worry despite the soothing pheromones and Shiro's low voice.

He must've missed a silent communication between Coran and Shiro because of how tightly he had his eyes closed, but without warning he felt Shiro's hot breath against his ear. "You can push now, Lance. Push it out as hard as you can."

_Yes_ .

Lance cried out in pain when he squeezed his abdominal muscles. The muscles were weak from disuse, the slightest tensing painful throughout the parasitic pregnancy, but even then they were strong enough to make Lance feel like he was stabbing himself with a whole kitchen block worth of knives. He let the scream tear through his throat and _persisted_ , squeezing down hard and feeling the thick mass push through going lower and all but creeping down.

He screamed again, hoarser now, and to his horror he _felt_ his hole opening up to the approach of the alien womb. The encouragements from Coran and his friends were distant, like he had cotton in his ears, but he knew he had to try again and withstand the pain, because he was _so close_.

With one last hoarse cry he managed to push the thing down to his hole, the swollen girth of it stretching him painfully wide before it was suddenly slithering out. Once it started, the whole thing slipped through like a long snake of creepy alien putty, splashing down into the mess of the basin below.

Hunk shouted in victory so loudly it made Lance flinch to the side, but Shiro was there to capture him and speak proudly into his ear. "You did it, Lance. It's out, you did it. I will put you in a healing pod now and when you wake up there will be no more pain."

"You'll be as good as new," Coran promised, his voice as chipper as if he hadn't taken part in a heavily traumatic experience just now. The Altean had stood up and was holding a large blob of tissue, stained with brown but seemingly grey and pink below that.

"I-I want to see before I go into the pod."

Lance wasn't sure what came over him to ask that. He hadn't expected that from himself - he had expected he'd never want to see the monster that put him through all that pain, ever. But now it was out and… he carried that thing for five months - well, five phoebs - in his belly, and he couldn't just… let it go like that. He was relieved to be rid of it but at the same time he wasn't _ready_.

Luckily it looked like Coran understood, giving him a quick 'of course' before taking the alien uterus to where he could clean it. He returned with it only a few doboshes later, when Shiro and Hunk were just finishing getting Lance clean and dressed again, and he held the thing low enough for Lance to see from his prone position on the cot.

The alien baby was only just clawing out of the womb, spindly little fingers thin as spider legs folding over the wet sides of the womb's tissue while a small face was emerging with wide eyes, blinking two sets of eyelids over it rapidly against the dry air.

It was hideous, but it was also a newborn baby and Lance couldn't stop himself from reaching out. All eight fingers of one of the baby's hands wrapped around one of Lance's fingers for a moment, and then there was a tiny, chittering sound from the alien.

"I'm ready now." Lance pulled his hand back, resting it on his chest instead of his belly without thinking, and closed his eyes again as Shiro lifted him up to put him in the pod.

_He would be as good as new_ .

Somehow he wasn't sure that was possible.

 

It was really weird, standing here again.

A few steps away from where Allura and Shiro were talking with the leader of the alien species - the _Lochtwan Markwan_ , Lance recalled, mostly because these species had left quite the impression on him - and the rest of the paladins trying to look interested in the political talk while actually thoroughly distracted by the crowd of Lochtwan around them.

Lance had been distracted like that last time, looking around and admiring the gem-like eyes of the aliens, and the long eight-fingered hands that looked like they could do unspeakably pleasurable _things_ to you. Especially with Shiro so engrossed in the talks, it was easy to let his mind and his eyes wander, and all he was really missing was a Lochtwan propositioning him now to complete the déja vu.

It was slightly different though, because Lance had little interest in the crowd around them. And while the crowd had a lot of interest in the paladins, much like the last time, there was one thing that was drawing even more of their attention.

Just as it had Lance's attention.

Baby Lochtwan were not chubby little buggers like human babies were, but spindly with twiggy limbs bending this way and that. That gave them a dangerously high surface to mass ratio, leaving them very vulnerable to drying out and growing too cold, and although their information on Lochtwan assured them the babies were not as breakable as they looked, it made Lance just nervous seeing it kick its thin legs out.

He had the Lochtwan baby swaddled carefully in thick cloth and held against his chest to keep it safe. There had been loud chittering protests and a lot of crocodile tears about being restrained as such, but Lance knew just how to treat the baby after the few quintants they'd had together.

Both Hunk and Shiro had protested against him taking the baby alien in his care once he emerged from the healing pod, but Lance had put his foot down and demanded they give it to him. He had _carried_ that baby, he had _birthed_ that baby, and he was sure as hell going to take care of it until they brought it back to its own planet and found it a good home.

Now the latter was actually providing the real problem.

The parents of the baby that had planted its womb and all in Lance without his consent were being heavily punished. It was one of the worst crimes a Lochtwan could commit, apparently, and doing it to a paladin of Voltron right in the middle of diplomatic talks had certainly done the couple no favours. So they were locked away for life in a prison somewhere, and Shiro and Allura had both agreed that that was exactly what they deserved, rather than being released just to take care of the baby.

That left them with a problem, however, because that made Lance, as the baby's carrier, the designated guardian of the baby by law. And _apparently_ the most common practice in this sort of situation was to have the baby killed.

And _that_ was not something Lance was agreeing to.

Sure, it had caused him tremendous pain. Sure, he was constantly reminded of the whole trauma while in the presence of the baby. There was no way he wanted to keep it (and had Shiro been relieved when Lance said that, because there was clearly a serious worry among the team that Lance had grown unhealthily attached), but that didn't mean he wanted it _dead_. The baby was not at fault here - it wasn't give a choice when being implanted into Lance's gut either.

Besides, it was really cute. It made little gurgling noises to get Lance's attention and kept trying to wrap those long, spider leg fingers around anything of Lance it could reach, be it his fingers, wrist or head - the latter obviously a consistent failure because it was still way too tiny. But it blinked big eyes up at Lance and they were blue like sapphires, and wet when the baby cried for food and shining so brightly when it laughed.

It was an alien and basically a stick-figure come alive, but it was a real living baby and Lance would hurt himself before letting a baby come to harm.

So that left them in more negotiations with the Lochtwan leaders, Lance gently rocking the swaddled baby in his arms and trying to distract it by making funny faces at it, lest it start crying again over being restrained in the very blanket that kept it warm enough. It drew a crowd unlike the previous one, all curious Lochtwan trying to peer over Lance's shoulder to see the baby of their own species in the paladin's arms.

He could hear the questions passed from Lochtwan to Lochtwan, but none of them had addressed him yet - or any of the paladins, for that matter. It could be they were warned to not talk to the paladins after the fiasco of their last visit, because clearly they wanted to ask about the baby. Clearly they wanted to _know_.

But Allura had decided it had to be put in the hands of the leaders, and they were hedging around solutions because they clearly just wanted the baby dead. And Lance had been pretty clear about his opinion on that.

Lance wondered if he would find someone willing to care for the baby if he just turned around and spoke to the aliens right behind him. The baby was gurgling and chittering so happily, _someone_ had to think it was cute enough to adopt.

He just… didn't really dare. He felt like such a loser for it, but he didn't dare to talk to any of the Lochtwan, because they _all_ knew what had happened to him. They _all_ knew where the baby in his arms came from.

_They all knew_ .

Lance startled slightly as a warm arm slipped around his waist, and he blinked up at the warm, encouraging smile Shiro gave him.

"They gave us permission to see if anyone here was interested in taking the baby - no complicated adoption process in this culture. It's clearly not the way they do things."

"Well, it's the way _I_ do things," Lance huffed, holding the baby a little closer protectively. "How will we be assured that the baby won't come to harm?"

"There's extensive social policing in this culture," Shiro assured him. "Once someone has taken responsibility, everyone around them will ensure they don't shirk their duty. It's a weird situation for them, but the Lochtwan have assured us the baby would be treated like any other once adopted."

Lance chewed his lip thoughtfully for a moment, before nodding. "Okay, I suppose." He glanced over his shoulder, only to quickly look down at the baby again when he saw how many Lochtwan were gathered. The baby chirped a laugh and reached for Lance's face with one hand.

"Hey, you little fiend," Lance muttered and rocked the baby, happy with the distraction. "How'd you get your arm out, huh? I'm sure I swaddled you up completely."

The baby laughed a little harder and the thin fingers tapped at Lance's chin before he managed to pry the blanket open far enough to tuck the thin arm back in.

He was going to miss this mischievous little thing.

"Come, let's go look for some parents for the baby," Shiro encouraged softly, and Lance nodded absently, rocking the baby on one arm as it chittered and laughed.

"We'll find you the best parents," he promised the baby softly, and Shiro's arm around his waist tightened.

 

When they returned to the Castle several vargas later, Lance felt more drained than ever before. All he wanted was to go back to his room and curl up in bed, but then he'd see the make-shift crib and the blankets for the alien baby and the feeding utensils, and-

Shiro's arm found its way around Lance's waist as if it had a magnet in it, and he was gently tugged down the hallway until he let himself be lead to Shiro's room willingly. Lance didn't resist Shiro gently undressing him, nor being put in one of Shiro's sleep shirts before being sat down on the bed.

Shiro changed himself to sleep clothes as well, and then the black paladin rolled them both into the bed, pulling up the blankets to tuck them in together.

Lance scooted himself as close to Shiro as he could, comfortable with his chest to Shiro's side and his head on Shiro's shoulder, curling up against him without a large and painful belly between them.

"Did we do the right thing?" He asked quietly, and Shiro immediately pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"You did," Shiro promised, voice soft and sincere. "You did much more for that child than it could've expected from its own culture, and more than any of us would've expected from you after what you went through. You're a hero for that baby, even more so than you are for the rest of us."

Lance laughed, shoving lightly at Shiro's side. "Don't get cheesy now, Shiro. You were always _my_ hero, remember?"

"And now you're mine." Shiro's grin was entirely unapologetic, even when Lance gave him another little shove.

"Fine, if you insist. I guess I just have to go and be the best paladin of Voltron to deserve you calling me that."

And yes, that grin was _entirely_ unapologetic. "Oh kitten, you already are."


End file.
